Do you remember your first flight? The strange noises of the plane before takeoff, that moment when the wheels hover above the ground? As a child, flights are magical; a metal bird somehow brings you to the other side of the world. Sadly, after time, flights become routine and even tedious. We pass the time by watching a movie, listening to music, or catching up on work. Business travelers in particular are so eager to land and get back to work that they don’t notice the strangers sitting next to them; they develop tunnel vision. This is an unfortunate side effect of living in the twenty-first century; we have become so busy that we forget the value of downtime. The people that crowd airports become objects in our way–obstacles between us and our destination. When we view traveling in this way, we become self-centered and detached.
Twenty-First Century Pressures
The pressure to be
successful has become an obsession. This leads to stress and when we are stressed, it is easy to become isolated. Though some stress is necessary, too much often leads to counterproductive behavior; we become consumed by our anxieties and are unable to accurately assess our situation. Why not take a break from these stresses and use flights to reconnect with what is really important? Who knows–we may inadvertently meet a valuable business connection or have a great idea for work. Sometimes, all it takes is a caring neighbor or a stimulating conversation to change our perspective.
Antisocial Behavior and its Effect on the Workplace
Unfortunately, we don’t often pursue these stimulating conversations. Many of us have antisocial attitudes that are perpetuated by our workplace. When a company doesn’t respect its employees, the workers may exhibit antisocial tendencies. According to sociologist Dr. Stuart Waiton, antisocial behavior has created workers who “no longer act,” and instead only “react.” We have become “products [of our environment],” Waiton says, and “no longer determine our own fate.” We label people as antisocial, yet we fail to question what mindset has caused them to adopt this behavior. The stress of the workplace can make anyone antisocial; we shut down, bury our heads in work, and think only about ourselves. We have all experienced this. However, what we must watch out for is antisocial behavior becoming chronic; we cannot let ourselves get stuck in this mindset.
Though we sometimes cannot avoid the troubles of the workplace, we can fight against this behavior by refocusing ourselves as we travel for work. Though speaking with strangers is a minor act, it could have a major effect on the mindset of an employee and even on the workplace at large. When we speak to strangers, we improve our understanding of humanity. After the flight, we can then return to work re-energized; our newfound understanding may even positively affect the social attitudes of our coworkers.
Though many of us can occasionally feel like our job runs our life, if we take a moment to put things into perspective, we develop our “awareness of humanity,” according to author Lloyd Williams. He believes that a successful business creates a work environment in which each employee understands that they share a “common fate.” Just like a community, a business requires a “holistic approach” that marries “fiscal and technical responsibility with the human quality.” If a business wishes to create a productive workplace, they must encourage their workers to stay open and engage with one another; we must each do our part.
A Hopeful Story
Antisocial behavior can certainly exhibit itself on a flight. It may happen that you have little in common with your neighbor on your flight. Yet, sometimes, these are the best people to speak to because you must search for something to discuss. These are the conversations that often have the biggest impact. It is healthy to be challenged by a different perspective. You may even be sitting next to another business traveler–you may be able to learn about their job and meet a valuable networking connection.
The first step is to smile at your neighbor; this will let them know that you are open to talking. Oftentimes, this is enough to get your neighbor to initiate the conversation. If they don’t, see if they are doing something: ask what book they are reading or what they are working on. If they aren’t doing anything, ask them where they are going and why. Though these are simple questions, they are great practice; they help you develop your presence. The more you practice initiating conversations, the more at ease you will seem when you speak to a newcomer at work or even to your boss. The more you realize that everyone is just human, the more confident you will become. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind; see where the conversation goes rather than going through the motions. Ask the questions you really want to ask without worrying about how your neighbor will react. After all, you will probably never see them again! If you are genuine, you will be surprised at how open your neighbor will be; people respond positively when you are sincere.
Beyond what you can get out of talking to a stranger, you can also help someone in need. On a recent flight, my friend sat next to a man whose sister was suffering from an autoimmune disease. By simply turning to the man next to him, my friend was able to offer medical advice that may help. I could see the look in my friend’s eyes as we said goodbye to this man; this conversation truly meant something to him.\
Take the Initiative!
A flight is the perfect way to develop our social skills and refocus ourselves; we may have no choice about where we travel, but we do get to choose what we get out of traveling. It is important to take a moment to see the bigger picture; talking to a stranger does just that. Try to avoid shutting down and putting in your headphones. Look your neighbor in the eyes and make a connection.